Adoption, Family, HIV/AIDS Education


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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Five Pages...


I have much to be grateful for and most days I'm brimming with happiness, but these last couple of hours today, I admit, I'm a complete and utter mess; crying–snot running, the whole nine yards. I wonder if all writers get this engrossed in they're work, or maybe it's that I'm just so close to it. This chapter that I'm re-vising is only five pages, roughly a thousand words, but at times it feels as if my heart is breaking on the page. Writing about those first terrifying moments when I realized that my baby wasn't breathing right, and the hours of chaos that followed will never be easy. There was the emergency room, my baby's lips turning blue ... that receptionist that said we'd have to fill out paperwork–wait our turn like everybody else; the sheer panic of knowing that we couldn't wait. The doctors surprised faces when my husband and I burst through the ER doors with our son in hand, demanding–begging for someone–anyone, to please help us. That frozen moment as they took in the frightening sight of us. Mitchell's baby blanket dropping to the floor. The doctor who sprang into action first, taking Mitchell from our arms, and the frenzy that followed as they worked to save our son. Five pages. One thousand words. I can do this. I can do this, because I know these five pages are important. They are a catalyst toward something bigger and better, and if not for our struggles, my family wouldn't be where we are today. Although there are some heartbreaking moments, this isn't a story about heartbreak, it's a story about family, love, triumph and yes–miracles.

3 comments:

rebekah said...

I can't wait to read your story.

Writing it all down has to be so difficult - revisiting something you never want to feel again. You're courageous.

Deborah said...

Words have the power to educate and change our culture. Keep up the good work. Your family is beautiful. Your love for each other is an example for ALL families today.

Author and HIV/AIDS Advocate–Suzan Stirling said...

Thank you so much for the encouragement and kind words! You are so right about the power of words : )