Book Talk

With the release of my novel this month, I thought it would be interesting to share a bit of my history and some insight into how I came to write The Silence of Mercy Bleu. I have my son to thank for helping me to put this short clip together today. The Silence of Mercy Bleu is now available in paperback and Kindle. I hope you enjoy it.

Women and Girls HIV Awareness Day

March 10th ~

National Women & Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

Just the other day, my husband and I were having lunch together. On the drive home, something caught his eye. He slowed down and made a turn into an unfamiliar apartment complex and pulled his truck up next to the pool house.

"What are we doing? It's a little cold to go swimming," I laughed.

He reached for my hand, his face serious. "See that electrical shed? That's where I was working the day you phoned me and told me that you and Alee had tested positive."

"Oh." I followed his gaze, shook my head. "You know, it's weird, but I don't even remember calling you. I don't remember much of anything that happened after..." My voice trailed off. I'd heard of that happening before–when something so traumatic happens that your mind blocks the memory. "What did I say? Did I just blurt it out?" I asked.

He thought for a moment. "No. You just said that I needed to come home, and when I asked you why, you wouldn't tell me. I kept asking you to tell me what was wrong and finally I asked if you'd gotten the test back, and you said yes, and then I just knew. I dropped my tools, I left everything–I just left and tried to get home as fast as I could." He turned his head away, but not before I could see that he was crying.

All these years later, it still hurts.

I'd met and married my husband of now twenty-four years in 1988, and almost ten years into our marriage, shortly after the birth of our second child, our life was turned upside down by AIDS. I'd unknowingly contracted the disease from a young man I'd been engaged to when I was nineteen who, I was told, had died of cancer.

It isn't easy to look back. I think those first days after finding out–those gray memories that have gone blank–are because I must have been in shock. Here's what I do remember...

The call from the hospital that had treated our baby for a severe bout of asthma. We were simply told that something in our baby's blood work had come back that warranted an AIDS test. They said that our whole family should be tested.

In 1996 you could purchase "anonymous" HIV testing kits at any drug store. We bought three. One for Clay, one for myself, and one for Alee. The test was fairly simple. We pricked our fingers, put a drop of blood on a strip, sealed it inside an envelope and sent it by Fed Ex to the testing lab. Days later we were to call the lab, give our "number" to the telephone personnel and we'd get our results. Clay's results came back quickly. He was negative! At this point, I still was holding out hope that we'd all test negative.

Mine and Alee's results took longer. I'll never forget that phone call...

I'd been on hold for a number of minutes. Clay's results had been different. He'd gotten an automated response. Why was I being put on hold? Finally a woman's voice came on the line.

I held the receiver pressed to my ear. I thought I'd heard her wrong. "Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry," she said. "your test came back positive for the HIV antibody."

My body went numb, and my chest tightened. What an awful mistake for this woman to make. I was still clinging to denial. Oh God...not this...not AIDS. I didn't realize that I'd started to pray.

"Ma'am, I can give you some resource numbers in your area..."

"Wait. I have another number. Can you check one more number for me, please?" I asked.

"You have another number?" She sounded confused.

"Yes. It's my daughter's." I could barely speak, my voice hollow in my ears. I held the slip of paper in my shaking hand and read the numbers off to her.

"How old is your daughter, ma'am?"

"She's six years old." My heart is breaking. Right here. Right now.

There was a pause. "Oh my God," she whispered.

Don't say it... Please don't say it.

"I'm so sorry. She's positive. The test was positive."

No! This isn't happening. This isn't real! I felt as if the room were tipping and at any moment I would lose my grip.

"Ma'am, are you still there? Do you have someone with you? Is there someone you can call? Hello?"

"I'm sorry. I have to go." I don't remember hanging up the phone and I don't remember calling my husband either. That memory is gone. What I do remember about that day was picking Alee up from school very soon after, seeing her face, small and pale smiling up at me as I reached out to take her hand, and then I draw a blank for days.... Yes, I was in shock.

Did you know that in the United States a woman or girl tests positive for the HIV virus every thirty-five minutes? Today, out of the 33 million who are estimated to be living with HIV/

AIDS, half are women, and that number is on the rise. Why? In many instances it's because women still don't believe they are at risk.

Did I think I was at risk? No, and that was my biggest mistake–thinking that HIV could never happen to me. Today, I'm very fortunate. My life is truly blessed. Still, it's never easy looking back, but I share my story today in the hopes that something good will come of it. If hearing my story touches one person or keeps one person from going through what my family has had to endure, then that means something.

Please share this story with the women in your life, and I thank you for reading.

Want to help? Check out these two wonderful organizations to learn more.

amfAR-The Foundation For AIDS Research

EGPAF-The Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation

Suzan Stirling is an author an advocate. Stirling's debut novel, The Silence of Mercy Bleu (publish date, March 15th) is now available for pre-order at BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com

In honor of Women and Girls HIV Awareness Day I'll be giving away three signed copies of The Silence of Mercy Bleu! Here's how to enter the drawing:

1) Visit Suzan Stirling on FB HERE

2) Hit the "Like" at the top of the page to be entered in todays drawing!

3) Names will be chosen at random (11pm est) and the three lucky winners will be notified 3/11/12. Good luck!

Author website: SuzanStirling.com

READ REVIEWS Five stars for The Silence of Mercy Bleu by Suzan Stirling!

"Through her descriptive language, Suzan Stirling has created a captivating journey of the human soul as the herione in the story finds hope in the midst of despair. With the loss of her entire family, Mercy Bleu discovers "family" in the people around her...those who give her unconditional love and support. In life, we all can have these "earth angels" with whom we connect and find meaning in living. Stirling easily draws the reader into her story as she creates imagery in the reader's mind, helping the reader see and feel the emotion of the main character. The deeper one gets into the book and the character, the harder it is to put the book down. The final chapters keep the reader rivated, unable to turn the pages quickly enough to see how hope triumphs. Thank you, Suzan, for intertwining an advocacy of hope for those who are HIV positive while entertaining us with a tale of the simple goodness of people. I loved it!!" ~Lisa Cheek

Chicken & Dumplins for the SOUL

The boys have been down with a yucky bug all week. First Dad, and now the boys. Knock on wood, it seems to have passed me by which I'm ever so thankful for because we all know that when the men don't feel well, they require a lot of "mama" love...which I don't mind giving. I think it goes back to my mom, her mom and their grandmother before that...we're all caregivers.

I remember when I was a kid, how I'd suffered with a terrible earache and what a comfort my mother was. She'd put fresh sheets on the couch, fluff my pillow, put on cartoons and make me hot chicken soup, with little slices of toasted bread. These little comforts made me feel so much better. So that's what we're doing today...I'm pulling out the big guns. This is gonna be a pillow- fluffing Chicken & Dumplin' kind of day!

: ) Mama's HoME-made Chicken & DUMPLin' RECIPE:

Chicken Broth

Roasted Chicken

Celery

Carrot

Fresh Parsley

Fresh-Cloves Garlic

Flour

Pepper/Salt/Onion Powder

Chrystel Hot sauce

Dumplin's-Adds Salt pepper/onion powder to flour then mix in broth to right texture (flakey). Roll out dough (on wax paper) and cut into large squares.

In large pot add de-boned roasted chicken chunks and broth.

Add sliced carrots/celery/Garlic/hot sauce and simmer for one hour

Add hot sauce (just a dash) and dumplin's to boiling broth.

Cook another half-hour add fresh chopped parsley. Voila!

The Silence of Mercy Bleu~Kindle Release!

I have exciting news for all you Kindle lovers! My debut novel, The Silence of Mercy Bleu is now available on Amazon.com. Trade paper coming soon!

Cheers!

Suzan

What people are saying about The Silence of Mercy Bleu:

"Mercy Bleu is an inspiring story that shows how important it is to believe in yourself, open your heart to others and learn from your mistakes. More importantly, it proves that what you have doesn't define who you are. This is the first love story I've read that includes HIV as a major theme and it does so with great honesty and integrity. Suzan Stirling's words honor all the people who have fought and continue to fight against this deadly disease." ~Gary Karton

"This book is an achingly beautiful tale from start to finish. Mercy is wonderfully flawed and imperfect, the way the best literary characters are. I enjoyed this very much and look forward to seeing what Suzan does in the future."
- C.B. Cole author of WINTER

"Suzan Stirling has opened my eyes to the factual world of living with AIDS. Love has no boundaries in this novel of emotional, physical and spiritual challenges. Mercy Bleu will empower, encourage,and educate. I was blessed by reading it. Just knowing Suzan and her family live this story every day makes me admire their depth of love for God and each other. Suzan Stirling is my heroine. Absolutely one of the best books I have ever read." –CJP

*The Silence of Mercy Bleu in (paperback March/April 2012) and Nook (April 2012)

The Silence of Mercy Bleu~Official Book Trailer

I was ten years old the winter we lost Mama. How she died, what really took her life is a secret I promised never to tell, but I can't let the tragedy that happened to my family stay buried forever.

When Mercy, a runaway with a troubled past returns to the quiet town of Madison, she's determined to make a better life, only how can she? Madison is a place where everybody knows everybody, a town where people still remember the awful tragedy that wrecked Mercy and her family. A young woman harboring a deep secret, Mercy never expected them to come to her aid, and she certainly wasn’t prepared for love. But all that changes when she and Cole Dawson, a newcomer to town, are thrust together the night of the storm. Mercy’s past won’t be kept away, though, and no one is safe. Just when Mercy thinks she’s finally outrun fate, it catches up. When her barn is set on fire and Cole's vet clinic maliciously vandalized she must finally face her worst nightmare, or risk losing everything and everyone she loves all over again.

The Silence of Mercy Bleu now available on Kindle at Amazon.com and in Trade-Paper 3.1.12!

Cheers!

Suzan

Women and HIV

My recent interview with BettyConfidential was probably one of the most candid (and enjoyable) interviews I've done to date. If you've ever wondered what it's really like to be a woman living with HIV today, well, read on! You may be pleasantly surprised. Times, they are changing!

Three women. Three very unique and inspiring stories of living with HIV. I'm so humbled (and proud) to be sandwhiched between these two remarkable ladies. I think you'll enjoy reading these stories about everything from motherhood to dating, and yes, I even answer the big question about S-E-X!

I've pasted my interview below, and you can read all of our stories in the online magazine Betty Confidential

“I want to see my children cured of HIV.”

Suzan Stirling is a 45-year-old mother, AIDS activist, and writer. Diagnosed with HIV at the age of 29, she lives in Kentucky with her husband, two biological children, and an adopted son from Ethiopia whose birth parents died from AIDS.

How did you find out that you were HIV-positive?

I’ll never forget that phone call. It came shortly after we brought our son home from the hospital. He’d been very sick and in and out of intensive care for months with a respiratory virus that his body wasn’t fending off. I was at my mother’s house when I got the call that literally saved his life. It was a new doctor. She was quick to the point. She said, ‘Something in your son’s blood work warrants an AIDS test. I suggest your whole family be tested.’ I just remember thinking, ‘I’m going to have to watch my children die.’ I didn’t think I was strong enough to handle that. That was sixteen years ago. I’d unknowingly contracted the virus in 1985 (before I’d met my husband) from a young man I’d been engaged to who I was told, years later, had died of cancer. Back then we didn’t even think that women or heterosexual men were at risk, but we know better now. At the time I was diagnosed, I’d carried the virus for nearly ten years without ever knowing it. I’ve lived with HIV for a total of twenty-six years now, more than half of my life.

How often do you visit a doctor?

I have a wonderful ID doctor who I see once every few months. Our visits run like clockwork. He accesses my health, orders the appropriate tests, and always asks me point blank, ‘How are you doing?’ My answer, I’m thankful to say is always, ‘I’m doing great.’ And I am. Amazingly, my viral load–– which is the amount of virus that can be detected in the blood––remains undetectable, and my CD-4 count (immune system count) is better than the average “healthy” person. I’m happy to say that all of my children are doing equally well. We’re very fortunate to have access to life saving treatment. I think it’s hard for people to even fathom that in other parts of the world, like Africa, where my adopted son is from, people are still dying every day from AIDS, a disease that’s now completely treatable.

What side effects do you experience from your medication?

In the early years, after my diagnosis, the medicines I took were very difficult and the side effects almost intolerable --s o much so that at one point I stopped taking them. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I thought, if this is how my life is going to be, I’d rather take my chances. They were making me that sick. Today, it’s a whole different story: due to some wonderful advances in medicine and an experienced clinician, my medicines are easy to take and I have no side effects from them. I take three pills in the evening and two in the AM. That’s it. Simple. I feel like I’m living the best years of my life, right now.

How has your diagnosis changed you?

I almost want to say, ‘How has it not changed me?’ because to be completely honest, you can’t go through what I’ve been through -- any life-threatening illness really -- be it cancer or what have you, and not come out a completely changed person. HIV is even more difficult because unlike cancer, it’s a disease that so many people suffer with in silence, myself included, for many years. I was so fearful of what people would think of me, or worse, that they’d be afraid of me. There were so many things that I had to work through to get to where I am today. HIV forced me to be a much braver, more open person, and I’m thankful for that.

How did your family and friends react to your diagnosis?

So much love. So much support … there isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not thankful for the family, friends and even total strangers who have built this palatial wall of support around my children and our family. They are the reason we’re healthy and whole today. They’re the reason we’re able to openly share our status and story with others.

How do those outside of your inner circle react when you disclose your diagnosis?

I remember my son needing a surgery years back, and my telling the doctor, ‘My son is HIV positive…’ thinking this would be a problem. She just looked at me and said, ‘Okay, that doesn’t change anything. I can help your son. I’m not worried about the HIV.’ This woman was a complete stranger. Moments like that you don’t forget.

I understand people’s fear of HIV (I used to be one of those people) and I also know that a little education goes a long way. I encourage people to ask me questions. We just need to open the lines of communication.

How has HIV affected your romantic relationships?

I’m glad that someone finally had the guts to ask this question because it’s a really important one that deserves an honest answer. We need to feel free to talk openly about (and this will make my teens cringe) sex and intimate relationships. Plus, I like talking about sex. I also enjoy the act of lovemaking very much and have been doing it on a regular basis for the last twenty-four years of my marriage … before and yes, after finding out that I had HIV. I can’t speak for everyone in a romantic relationship where one or both are positive, but for my husband and I, although we’ve had bumps and dips in our marriage like any couple, sex has never been one of them. Maybe that’s because we’d already been together for almost ten years before I was diagnosed, I don’t know, but what I do know is that people meet and fall in love every day. HIV isn’t going to stop that.

In fact, in my novel I’ve addressed the “sex” issue with what’s probably the first sex scene EVER written to involve a condom! Plus, with today's treatment the virus is suppressed to such low levels that it makes transmission highly unlikely. What I’m trying to say is we're not so different from everyone else. What I’m trying to say is that HIV doesn’t change that we’re still human. We still have desires, and a need to love and be loved. I used to tell my daughter when she first started dating that HIV would weed out the Mr. Wrongs, but wouldn’t matter to that special Mr. Right. It’s true. With the right person and knowledge as your ally, HIV won’t stop you from finding that special someone to share your life with.

Do people treat you differently because you have HIV? How does that feel?

No, I really don’t think so, only because I don’t act differently. I’ve got a pretty healthy attitude and after having lived with HIV for so many years, it’s like anything else¬–you grow with it, you become more comfortable, and I think that people pick up on that. I’m not worse for having HIV; if anything, I’m better for having survived it.

What is the hardest part of living with HIV?

A few years ago, I would have said not being able to talk about my disease openly. Today, the hardest part for me is feeling that I have a responsibility to talk about it openly. It’s not easy for me to share my story, there are some really painful moments I don’t like to re-live, but I’ll keep doing it because if it helps one person, then it’s worth it to me.

In which ways do you take a stand for those who have HIV or AIDS?

Over the years my family and I have had the opportunity to work with a number of amazing organizations including The National AIDS Memorial Grove, amfAR, and The Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation –– an organization dedicated to ending mother to infant transmission around the world. My goal is to facilitate HIV awareness and help end mother to infant transmission of HIV, a goal that’s been achieved here in the United States, and with support and necessary funding there’s no doubt in my mind, we’ll one day achieve those goals around the world. You can learn more about what I’m doing to help in the fight against HIV/AIDS by visiting my blog (http://www.redribbondiaries.blogspot.com/)

Your biggest fear:

My biggest fear used to be losing my children. I don’t fear that anymore. I know that they’ll live long, productive lives and that makes me happier than I can even express. My biggest worry today is health coverage. If I didn’t have health insurance, my medicine alone would cost over two thousand dollars a month. So, yes, my biggest fear is that something could happen, I could lose my health insurance, and then not be able to afford the medicine that keeps me healthy.

You’ve written a novel, The Silence of Mercy Bleu, which will be coming out in March 2012. The main character in the book has HIV -- can you tell us how closely your fictional story relates to your own personal story?

The Silence of Mercy Bleu was a story that had been stirring inside of me for years. I always knew that my first novel would be a story about a young woman with AIDS because it's a topic so close to my heart, but to answer your question: Is Mercy's story similar to my own? I'd like to say that my life and my experiences have been exciting enough to conjure up a "best-seller" but truth be told, probably not! What I am, though, is an avid observer; I love to watch and wonder. In actuality, the character of Mercy and her life experiences are vastly different from my own. I did that intentionally. But the feelings of isolation and shame -- the stigma that my character faces, those are very real things that many people living with the secret of HIV, myself included, have experienced first-hand.

What do you want most out of life?

What a great question. I want to make a difference. I want my life and my journey to have meant something. I want a lifetime of happiness. I want to love and be loved. I want to learn something new each day. I want to live. I want to see my children cured of HIV. I want… I guess I want a lot of things. But, if I had to boil it down to the one thing I want most, the thing I can’t live without, it would be a life filled with hope because with hope, I truly believe that all things become possible.

What's something you wish everyone knew about people who are living with AIDS?

I want them to know that HIV is just an illness. It doesn’t define who a person is, any more than a person who is diagnosed with cancer, or hepatitis, or diabetes. Get to know the person and then you’ll see beyond the stigma, beyond the disease. More than anything, people living with HIV need your compassion. Give us a hug. I can’t tell you how much that simple gesture means to a person living with HIV.

What would you tell women and girls who have just been diagnosed with HIV?

This is important. I would tell them that your life is not over. Don’t let HIV stop you from realizing your full potential. Be brave, be hopeful, be kind…and all good things will find you.

Anything else you want to share with our readers?

I just want to thank BettyConfidential and its editors for giving me this opportunity to share my story with readers on such an important day, World AIDS Day. And to all who read this: Be brave. Get tested. Knowing your status is your best defense against HIV/AIDS.

To learn about Suzan’s upcoming novel visit SuzanStirling.com.

Look Who's READING...

My mom and my husband are reading my novel for the first time today, and I have to tell you it's quite exciting--as in the nail-biting, I've had way too much coffee kind of exciting, if you really want the truth!

I've not heard from Mom yet, but my husband is sitting across the room from me right now, feet propped up in an easy chair with my book open on his lap. He's reading my story for the first time. This is monumental....and fun for me watch. He's so engrossed that every now and again, he'll read a sentence out loud. I'll look up and say, "Did you say something?" And he doesn't even hear me. This tickles me to no end.

He's an hour into my story now. I can't resist. "What do you think of Damon?" I ask him.

"He's a prick,"he says without so much as taking his eyes off the page.

Good! This is what I want everyone to think of Damon. Now I'm smiling.

If I didn't think the flash would disturb my husband (and if he weren't wearing only boxers) I might take a picture. Oh well, I suppose I'll just commit this epic moment to memory--well, memory and this little 'ol blog : )

The Silence of Mercy Bleu,coming out in E-book (this weekend!) and Trade-Paper (March 2012).This story and subject is one that you'll want to share and I look forward to having you read my novel for the first time. No pictures...I promise. But what I will be doing these next few weeks is giving away a few ARCs. ARCs are books before the books, aka. Advance Reader Copies which are sent out to important people to gain reviews. But yes, I've managed to save a few and I can't wait to share them with you!

To find out more about The Silence of Mercy Bleu ARC contest give-away, Visit: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Suzan-Stirling/126461867430578

Hallelujah

It (really) was the night before Christmas...I'd just finished wrapping the last of the gifts and my office was a total wreck. I was taking a break when I heard my fifteen-year-old son playing the guitar and singing. I thought he sounded pretty good, then his big sister joined in and I couldn't believe it.

I pulled them back into my study, sat them down in front of my computer's webcam, and said sing it again. This is what transpired...a funny, touching video of my kids singing the song Hallelujah.

"Hallelujah" is a word that means rejoice, or God be praised, and that's what I feel like doing every time I look at my children and think about how far we've come since those early days before our diagnosis.

My daughter wants to be a teacher and I'm not sure if my son will grow-up to be a comedian, a singer, or a scientist, but I do know that this video always makes me laugh, always makes me smile and ALWAYS fills my heart with joy. I'll forever cherish the memory of this special night before Christmas when my two oldest sang Hallelujah, and meant it. Here's to healthy, happy kids. Here's to one day finding a cure. For this day and for tomorrow, I am so grateful... Hallelujah!

A Season of HOPE!

This truly is a season of HOPE for my family. We are blessed with good health and there is no greater gift than that. Perhaps one day, no child, brother, or family will have to succumb to AIDS. That is my wish...

My family and I are so proud to be part of amfAR and their "Making AIDS History" campaign. Please take a moment to click on the link and learn more about how you can help us win the fight against AIDS. There's ground breaking research happening right now, and amfAR is leading the way!

Have a beautiful, healthy holidays, friends!

Be Blessed,

Suzan

Child Banned from Attending School...in 2011??

I don't like to admit it, but I used to be one of those people who had irrational fears about HIV and how it was transmitted. It wasn't that I was a bad person, I just didn't have accurate information.

When I watched this story about the 13-year-old boy being banned from school, my heart sank. My thoughts and prayers really go out to this family and this child. Years ago, one of my biggest fears about "coming out" about our status was that this could happen to us. My children being ostracized at school was my biggest fear. A fear that proved to be completely unwarranted. When we disclosed to our schools, people came out in groves to support us. The schools, faculty, students, parents, even complete strangers rallied around our children in a show support. I'll never forget it. I wish it were the same for this family.

The good news is that there's a lot of good information out there now about HIV. Did you know that today's medicines supress the virus to such low levels that trasmission (even from blood, fluids, etc.) is unlikely? I just find it sad that in this day and age a child is being banned from school for being honest about his status. What are your thoughts? Why are we still having this problem?

Doin' the "Hivvy" dance ; )

If you've ever watched Scrubs, you'll remember the infamous episode where Dr. Turk has to tell one of his patients that he has HIV. Sure, the news was going to be crushing, but it wasn't a death sentence anymore, either ... hence the infamous "Hivvy" dance was born. Well, Alee and I loved that episode so much, that when Alee found out that "Scrubs" actor Donald Faison, aka Dr. Turk, was going to be at the EGPAF's "A Time For Heroes," she decided to track him down for an autograph, and you won't believe what happened next...: )

Worth the Wait

Patience is a virtue...okay, whatever you say! I'll be the first to admit that when I want something, I want it now. That's not to say that I don't have patience. It has become one of my better "learned" qualities. Writing novels and publishing them takes years. The average time span to write a book is a year, add the months it takes your agent to sell it, and another year to eighteen months for it to see the light of day at Barnes and Nobel...you see where I'm going with this. *Deeeep breath* Patience.

Why? Because some things are just worth waiting for––your soul mate...a sunrise...that friend you know you'll never find in anyone else. Or maybe it's a child you're struggling to adopt, and you're stuck waiting and wondering what will happen next. The waiting is never easy, is it? At least not for me, but I'll do it again and again if necessary because the rewards are ten-fold.

So, my question for you is this: What is it that you're waiting and wanting for? A funny thing happens when we put our intentions out into the Universe...good things start to happen. I remember the first time I had the courage to say I was a writer to a small group of women that I was dining with. I said it while looking down at my salmon and barely louder than a whisper, but I did say it. That was a big step for me. After all, I had only gotten a piece or two published at the time...and the thought of me writing a novel? A shy girl, who, after one too many moves dropped out of school, a girl who had few skills, but could type a little, who went to work as a secretary at age seventeen to help support her mom who was sick and on disability. A young woman, who, at barely twenty-one had gotten married so that she'd finally have a rock...someone to hold onto, a woman who's world came crashing down when, at the age of twenty-nine, she learned that she and her two children were HIV positive. Funny, but it was the most devastating thing in my life that changed my life ultimately for the better...I became determined to pass a better legacy onto my children. For the first time, I got it. This was my life and with God as my guiding force, anything I could hope for was possible. I had to go for it. I had to survive what was then considered unsurvivable. More than anything, I wanted to see my children grow-up. I wanted them to be healthy. God answered my prayer in a bigger way than I could have imagined. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want or need. Prayers are answered every day.

But it takes courage to set your dreams into motion, and who was I to think that I could be an author? That was crazy. So what. I put it out there anyway.

What I'm trying to say, is own your desires....whatever they are and no matter how impossible they seem–taking small steps now to make something bigger happen up the road can change your world for the better. Is there work and planning involved? Sure. For me personally, I had to go back to school. I had to grow. I had to learn to be open and trust my instincts. I had to learn to believe in myself. Not everything we need or want is going to happen over night...in fact, the best things rarely do. But we've all heard the old adage, that some things are worth the wait. It's so, so true.

I know that many of you are getting eager to read my debut novel, The Silence of Mercy Bleu. I just want to say thank you for all your kind words and support on what has been quite an incredible journey...worth the wait, for sure!

HOP ABOARD! IT'S MAMA-TAXI : )

When we moved, Alee and Mitch (who'd gone to the same schools since they were little) didn't want to change (something I could totally relate to, having come from a childhood where I'd moved a lot). So, we opted for an in district transfer where they didn't have to change schools. Every day (morning and afternoon) I'd drive back and forth, about thirty miles total. Three kids, three different schools! It was a handful, but we managed.

Now, with Alee off in college, and it being just me and the (growing taller by the milli-second) boys, the pace has slowed some. A good day goes off without a hitch. I get Yonas off the bus and we ride together to pick up his older brother. It takes about an hour both ways, including wait time, give or take a pit stop at one of three fast food chains we pass along the way. Yonas and I catch-up–talk about his day–what he did in school, but mostly we talk about what he ate for lunch, while he finishes his snack. Seems this "growing" boy is always hungry : ) Once we're parked at the high school, Yonas turns his attention to homework, and I like to use those quiet twenty minutes to read or edit a few pages of whatever I'm working on. It's funny, but I get some of my best ideas while sitting in my car...just waiting. I've come up with things that have so inspired me that I've written them down on the back of crumpled receipts, old McDonald bags, and would you believe that the blurb for The Silence of Mercy Bleu (HERE) was jotted down with a red crayon! Hey, whatever works, right?

A lot of thought and a tremendous amount of work goes into the making of a novel, and it's a known fact that very few first novels go on to be published. I'll just say that I feel very privileged for this opportunity. To my family, my agent and publisher, and all of you who believed this was an important story–one that needed to be told, a big "Thank you!" I appreciate you all so much.

Coming in September, I'll have more good news and fun tid-bits, along with some pics of this months big AIDS WALK event in Louisville! Oh, and I almost forgot ... The Silence of Mercy Bleu now has an official Fan Page! Thanks to all of you who have helped it grow in numbers!

Like it HERE or THERE in the sidebar >>

and you could be the lucky winner of a signed copy of The Silence of Mercy Bleu.

Eliminating Pediatric AIDS–Yes, We Can!

The task of eliminating or curing HIV/AIDS may look like a daunting task, but today more than ever it's an achievable goal. We already have the tools to keep people with HIV living healthy, productive lives, but we also have the capability to prevent mother-to-infant transmission––not only here in the United States, but everywhere around the world. All it takes is access to medicines; a couple of pills a day! As a mother with three children, two biological and one adopted from Ethiopia (all of whom were born with HIV) that means so much to me. Most of us can't imagine being a mother whose only hope is to have a child born free of HIV. Back in 1990, when I was pregnant with my first child, even if I'd known that I carried the virus, we didn't know how to prevent transmission. Not so for women today. With the technology now available, no child should be born with with this totally preventable disease. I'm here to say that we can help make that a reality.

Elizabeth Glaser once said, "Sometimes in life there is that moment when it's possible to make a change for the better. This is one of those moments." That was such a profound statement and one that still holds true. Elizabeth was a wife and mother who made it her mission to fund the very research that's made it possible for children to be born HIV-free. There's no one that worked harder, and what she started so many years ago is still going strong today. If you want to make a difference in the lives of children and families who desperately need our help visit The Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation www.pedaids.org to learn more.

"Making AIDS History"

What an unforgettable experience... to be a part of amfAR's "Making AIDS History" Campaign. I'll never forget the people I met and the bonds that were forged in the two days it took to shoot this video. Their stories, as you'll see, are truly amazing and full of heart...as are they. To view my family's story, along with six other stories that are sure to fill you with hope and inspiration please visit: http://www.makingaidshistory.org/

Pencils...Crayons, and Glue-Sticks, OH MY!!

Seeing these two boys go from being complete strangers, just five years ago, to being true "brothers" has been one of the most profound experiences of my life, but I'll get mushy about that later. Right now, I'm too busy! With school just around the corner I've been doing the mad dash to get everything done. Yonas, my little guy, will be a big 4th grader this year! He is the best kid ever, and as you can see by the fuzzy cell-phone pic (sorry, can't find the camera) he's growing very tall, very fast. He also loves football : )

It's been a really great summer, but still I think we're all ready and excited for the year ahead.

Yesterday was Mitch's registration at his high school. While there, we got a moment to talk to one of his school guidance counselors who was extremely helpful in mapping out his course of study. Mitch, at only fifteen, has big dreams. He's very mature and thoughtful for his age; a whiz in Math, Science––part writer, part artist, like me. At only age fourteen, he had his first story published in a literary magazine that his school puts out once a year. Talk about a proud mom moment. He's also musical...likes to listen to Mozart...symphonies even, and is a self-taught pianist. We'll be in the car and I'll say, "Mitch, can we please turn off the Beethoven and put on some Michael Buble or something?"

"But mom, listen...this is so amazing!"

I think he is amazing. Anyhow, Mitch's dream is to be a pharmacist after he graduates and we found out through his counselor yesterday that his school offers a pharmacy tech program that he'll be able to enroll in his senior year. He'll have to double up on math next year as his goal is to take a calculus class before graduation. I tried to talk him out of the heavy course load. "Don't you just want to have fun your senior year?"

He just smiled, "Mom, math is fun...trust me."

Yeah, I'm still shaking my head over that one!

Three years and I've got another one college bound. Wow, this beautiful life really is flying...

My Guardian Angel Story

Woman's World Magazine-August 2011 issue #32

My Guardian Angel by Suzan Stirling-Meredith

When we pray for help, help always arrives--often in the most remarkable way.

As I sat beside my baby boy In the hospital, I suddenly knew what it meant for a heart to break.

There he lay in the NICU, a thick tube jutting from his mouth, his tiny chest rising and falling to the rhythm of a machine. Diagnosed with asthma and RSV, a respiratory virus that his newborn immune system couldn't fend off, he'd been fighting for weeks. Now, doctors were candid: Things weren't looking good.

Though I'd prayed constantly since the day Mitchell had been born, my hope was running on empty as I left the hospital that evening, planning to make a quick dash to tuck my daughter in for the night at my mom's before I returned.

But the roads were still covered in ice, and it was going to take forever. Tears welling in my eyes, desperate to see my little girl and equally desperate to return to my baby, I began to pray: "God, We've done all that we know how to do. I'm giving this to you now. Please make him well, or take him. Just don't let him suffer anymore."

Now, my tears streaming so hard I could barely see, I pulled to the shoulder, where I lay my head on the steering wheel. "And please," I whispered, "help me..."

Just then, the car filled with the glorious scent of freshly cut summer lilies.

The fragrance was so clear, so strong, that I stopped crying. I scanned the car, even rolling down the window to find the source of the scent. But there was nothing around to explain it, nothing but snow. And suddenly, a deep wave of peace poured through me.

He's going to make it, I knew.

Later that night, I told my husband, "It was Mitchell's angel. I know it was." And it must have been, because from that day forward our son began to improve.

Though the long battle he'd fought had left him with cerebral palsy, Mitchell was alive––a blessing of love, and a warrior who has bravely overcome every obstacle he's faced since. And I never forgot the beautiful message the angels sent to me.

Still, I'd never shared the story with my children. Not until last summer...

"I'm thinking of getting a tattoo." my daughter said. "A yellow lily."

Just then Mitch, now a strapping tall teenager, walked into the room. "Like these?" he asked, placing a vase of the blooms, cut from our backyard, on the table. And as the flowers' perfume wafted through the air ... I remembered.

"Why are you crying, Mom?" Mitch asked, slinging a protective arm around my shoulders.

Overcome, I said, "I have something to tell you ..." And as I shared the memory of that night, and how the scent of freshly cut lilies––the very scent that filled the room now––had carried me through one of the most difficult times of my life, I thanked the angels once again for that long-ago beautiful message, letting me know my boy would be just fine.

Plan B

It's that time again. Every three months we load the kiddos up and off we go to St. Jude's. Because we travel for their appointments, the day typically starts at about 5 am. When we land in Memphis we're met by a driver who takes us from the airport to the hospital.

Once at St. Jude's, there are blood drawings, well check-ups, and a multitude of other things all sandwiched into the space of a few hours. Everything generally runs like clockwork, and the kids love seeing everyone at St. Jude. It's pretty obvious that they enjoy caring for the kids too. I can't sing their praises enough. It's been awhile since I've made the trip on my own. It's no big secret that I have a fear of flying. My palms get sweaty just thinking about it.

There aren't too many things in this world that make me shake in my shoes––public speaking, flying, centipedes, freeways, flying... Did I mention flying? Because of this, my sweet husband usually does the day trip with the kids, but this time there was a ticket mix-up and I'm stuck like chuck. Flying solo. Help me@!!

Usually, when there's flying to be done, I resort to what I refer to as Plan A: This consists of two cocktails (preferably Bloody Mary's) tossed back in quick succession just before the plane starts to shimmy down the runway. Although this works wonders on vacation jaunts, I doubt this would go over too well before the kids' doctor appointment. Which means I'll have to resort to the dreaded Plan B.

Plan B, you ask? It's pretty cut and dry, and calls for courage. Which means, I'll just have to face my fear like the cool-under-pressure, gutsy woman that I know resides within me somewhere. (Deep Breath) Yes, that's what I'm gonna do...

Here's to St. Jude's and all they do for kids, our safe journey, and to being back on the ground SOON : )

Suzan

No Fear...Hope is Here

"There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow." – Orison Swett Marden

Just recently The New York Times posted this very interesting article about a study supporting the use of anti-virals to ward off HIV-infection. They proposed using it in people who are believed to be at high risk, but did you also know that antivirals can be used for "possible" HIV exposure? As a mother with three school age children who are positive, I felt confident–nothing could happen. I mean, what were the chances that my child would scrape knees at the same exact time with another child, or any of the other (never could happen) bodily contact scenerios that might go through your head?

The odds were a million to one. I would have banked my life on it. Even so, in 2008, shortly after Yonas was adopted, we made the decision as a family to let each of our children's schools, including their PE teachers, know about their HIV status. Why? There were a number of factors, but the biggest was that keeping it a secret had become a burden even larger than the illness itself. It was just "time," was how my daughter put it.

Have I ever regretted that decision? Never–not even once. I think that after hiding it for so many years, being able to have it out in the open felt like becoming a free man after a life-long confinement. I don't think I realized, while we were going through it, what a toll keeping the secret had become.

Disclosure is a very personal decision, and one that should not be taken lightly, especially where young children are concerned. In our case, it was the right decision at the right time. I know that there are other mothers and families out there struggling with these same issues and I hope that my story offers reasurance and hope.

In lieu of all the recent news about the success of anti-virals for post exposure, I think it fitting to reshare this story, "A Mother's Worst Nightmare."

Do not fear the unknown, but instead arm yourself with education––

Suzan

*Questions or comments? I love to hear from my readers! Comment below or e-mail me at Suzan1111@insightbb.com

A Time For Heroes 2011

They surfed. They danced. They ate foot-long chili dogs ... Santa Monica may never be the same ; ) Every year we look forward to the EGPAF's "A Time For Heroes" event and this year was pretty amazing. There was a new buzz in the air ... a lot of talk about ending pediatric HIV/AIDS once and for all. If you're not familiar with them, the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation is an incredible organization whose mission is to prevent pediatric HIV infection and to eradicate pediatric AIDS throughout the world. They plan on doing this through research, advocacy, and prevention and treatment programs.

This year's event, I'm pleased to say, raised an amazing $1.1 million! That should help a lot of mothers and babies win this fight. I know there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God that my children and I live in a country where we have access to the medicine that saved our lives.

And would you just look at those smiles? Here's a recap of our day in pictures...Thanks for stopping by.

Mitch catches a wave. If you've never caught a plastic rip-curl, it's a must! Look at my son mastering that board ... why, he's a natural!
Yonas and "Chuck" hanging out ... and yes, they are both really this cute.
Hangin' ten! She makes it look SO easy! : )
That's the ever so talented Joey D. on the drums and his side-kick (aka, my son Yonas) showing us some NEVER before seen dance moves. He popped, he moon-walked, he rocked the dance floor : )

Ending pediatric AIDS is no longer an impossible goal. In fact, we have more hope now than ever before. If you want to learn more please visit www.pedaids.org .

First Man Cured of HIV

Five Pages...

I have much to be grateful for and most days I'm brimming with happiness, but these last couple of hours today, I admit, I'm a complete and utter mess; crying–snot running, the whole nine yards. I wonder if all writers get this engrossed in they're work, or maybe it's that I'm just so close to it. This chapter that I'm re-vising is only five pages, roughly a thousand words, but at times it feels as if my heart is breaking on the page. Writing about those first terrifying moments when I realized that my baby wasn't breathing right, and the hours of chaos that followed will never be easy. There was the emergency room, my baby's lips turning blue ... that receptionist that said we'd have to fill out paperwork–wait our turn like everybody else; the sheer panic of knowing that we couldn't wait. The doctors surprised faces when my husband and I burst through the ER doors with our son in hand, demanding–begging for someone–anyone, to please help us. That frozen moment as they took in the frightening sight of us. Mitchell's baby blanket dropping to the floor. The doctor who sprang into action first, taking Mitchell from our arms, and the frenzy that followed as they worked to save our son. Five pages. One thousand words. I can do this. I can do this, because I know these five pages are important. They are a catalyst toward something bigger and better, and if not for our struggles, my family wouldn't be where we are today. Although there are some heartbreaking moments, this isn't a story about heartbreak, it's a story about family, love, triumph and yes–miracles.

Writing It Down

A couple of years ago, I set out to write a memoir. I wanted to share my story of adoption and raising children with HIV, but half-way through the rough draft I decided I wasn't quite ready. My family and our story was still evolving–still growing. So, I stuck in in a drawer where I imagined it would stay for a little while. How long, exactly? I wasn't sure. I then went on to write my first novel, The Silence of Mercy Bleu, which I'm thrilled to say will be released in early March 2012. Needless to say, this is a very exciting time for me.

The plan, after finishing my novel, was simple. It was to go onto the next story, and then the next after that. In fact, I'd already finished outlines for my next three books, but like I always say, life is full of surprises!

A few months ago I had this vivid dream that I was holding a book in my hands. Not just any book–a memoir–my memoir to be exact. I could see the cover. The art. Even the title, and I was marveling over the beauty of it. Then I woke up ... ready and incredibly eager to finish it.

AND if you don't believe in serendipity... Not long after my decision to pull out the memoir, I received an e-mail–from (get this) a publisher who'd happened across my blog and wanted to know if I had plans to finish the memoir. If so, they would be interested. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I pulled said memoir out and started typing ... even faster.

With the rough draft now complete, I'm starting in on the first edit. Writing my own "real life" story, I must say, is very different than writing fiction. I'm more emotionally vested and it can be taxing at times, re-living the difficult moments and the struggles, but more often than not, it is an incredibly rewarding experience. Writing it, like living it has become a journey in and of itself; truly meaningful, and well worth it in the end.

Writing has, for me, always been a way to share and connect with people, and it's that connection that keeps me getting up before the sun rises, to write another story, or in this case–another chapter of my own life. My hope for the memoir, when it's finished, is that my readers will take from it something valuable, something that will enrich their own lives, and if by my telling about my own struggles, and triumphs, I give hope to even one person, then it's done exactly what I'd wished for.

June 5th will mark the 30th anniversary since the first documented case of AIDS.

I've learned this: Every person you meet has a story. Listen. Learn. Share. That's how it all begins...

After the Storm

Just moments after the storm...

How about that rainbow? I shot this picture a few days ago. May 21st actually. The day "The Rapture" was supposed to happen. I took this as a lovely little sign from God. His was of saying, "Hey, listen up–not going to end the world today–just thought I'd let you know."

How many of you even thought for a second, this could be it, that this could really be "The End" of the world, even if just for a second?

That's how I felt the day I found out that my children and I had AIDS–that it was the end. I thought about the things that I'd wished I'd done differently, all the people I loved but had never told how much they meant to me. I thought about what I wanted to do with my last days on Earth. I felt the clock ticking–running out of time. How was I going to accomplish what I needed to? Would there be enough time? Did I have months or did I have a few more years? I remember hoping and praying for time... time with my family, time to do–everything.

And here we are, almost sixteen years later, healthy and going strong. Did I think, way back then, that I'd still be alive today, watching my children flourish ... fulfilling my dream of being an author and writing stories? I hoped I would.

I've since learned that a little HOPE goes a long, long way, and so here we are friends, facing another hour and another day...surviving "The Rapture" prophecy, AND surviving HIV/AIDS : )

I hope everyone has a GREAT weekend and I hope all my Southern friends are fairing alright with these storms that keep passing through.

With school about out, I'm super excited to get a jump on summer, and start this exciting next chapter of this beautiful thing we call life. Here's hoping the storms stay away at least for the weekend as there's fun to be had with the kids and we are definitely ready to hit the pool!

"Hope is only the love of life... Who knows?

God may save us, may work a miracle."

–Henri Amiel (1821-1881)

Happiness is...

A winding road...

A vineyard sunning beneath a blue sky...

A day of love and laughter : )

Happiness is... my children's love, and this was the best Mother's Day a mom could ever wish for. Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful moms out there. Enjoy every moment with your children (they grow up fast, it's true!) and not only today, but every day, know that because of them you are blessed beyond measure.

Ending Pediatric AIDS

The Time to Eliminate Pediatric AIDS is Now from EGPAF on Vimeo.

Here's to Elizabeth Glaser–a woman who's legacy, strength, and dedication to ending pediatric AIDS still lives on today. This powerful video is up for a Weeby Award. I just voted and you can too. Just follow the link and look for the EGPAF video titled "The Time to End Pediatric AIDS is NOW"

Adoption

"Where there is great love, there are always miracles."

~ Willa Cather

Families who are pulled toward adoption are often surprised when they are met with opposition. I know I was, and the only thing I could do was accept it and move on. Not everyone is going to understand your desire to love and adopt a child that isn't yours ... a child who belongs to no one. You may encounter bias, racism and cynicism–sometimes from your own family, but hearts can change (as did my own mother's) and how lucky are those who love beyond race–beyond biological ties, and even beyond the constraints of culture and entire continents. It's true what they say about that undeniable "pull" of the heart that adoptive families feel. I know, because I felt it too, and what other choice did I have but to follow, and I'm so glad I did. My story of adoption, like so many, is nothing short of remarkable. There were brick walls and triumphs, hardships and times of downright despair, but the one constant that kept us going was love. As difficult as the process of adoption was, we never stopped believing that we could and would bring our child home, and even more remarkable were the many people–from friends & family to complete strangers–who helped and supported us along the way. I have so many people to thank, who, without them Yonas would most likely have succumbed to HIV/AIDS and died without ever knowing the love of a family. Willa Cather, a great voice in American literature, once said, "Where there is great love, there are always miracles." Believe that.

Annie Lennox and Yonas?

Being the big American Idol fan that I am, I couldn't resist sharing this story (and beautiful song) once again.

I cried when I saw this video. I was so surprised to see my child's face near the end of this! Unfortunatley, we didn't have it video recorded, but I was able to find it on YouTube. This footage is so special because four years ago, my son Yonas was an orphan living in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. (Adoption Story Here).

One evening, not long after Yonas came home to America, we were all sitting in the family room watching Idol Gives Back. Annie Lennox, a singer dedicated to the fight against AIDS, was on the screen singing "Bridge Over Troubled Water," when, just a couple of minutes into the song, on the screen behind her flashed Yonas's smiling face! Well, all of our jaws dropped, including Yonas's! We just couldn't believe it. Watch the video below and listen closely to the lyrics; just as Yonas's face comes on the screen, Annie sings, "Your chance has come to shine...all your dreams are on their way..." It still gives me chills. Those beautiful words carry significant meaning, and always will.

It's difficult, even now, when I think back to what my son's life was like before we found him. I know that whatever pain he endured, his spirit somehow soared regardless. So, yes–once upon a time, my son was an orphan. But he's not an orphan anymore. I bet Annie would be happy to know that.

Today, Yonas has a home, food and access to medicines that will keep him healthy for a lifetime; he also has a family who loves him beyond measure. Like the song said, "Your chance has come to shine...all your dreams are on their way." I do believe that. Thank you, Annie, wherever you are, for the song, the music and all you do in the fight against HIV/AIDS. We love you for it.

Annie's SING site here

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Those Crazy (remarkable) College Kids...

I have some good news to reveal, but first I want to share this latest blog post, inspired by my daughter, Alee, and her love of theater. See that sign above? It just so happens that was the first thing that greeted me as I walked through the theater doors of Alee's last performance. Curious yet? Trust me, it gets even better.

When my daughter, a college sophomore, told me she'd landed a part in a play, and that she'd be doing a politically motivated skit about HIV/AIDS, naturally, I was eager to see it. I have to admit, though, that when I saw the "Viewer Discretion Advised" I got a little worried.

I had no idea what was in store as I headed for the last empty seat, (front row and center) but let your imagination run wild, and let me assure you this will be better.

The theater was jam packed with college kids. Seems the entire student body had come to see Naked-Man. Now, you have to picture it. Sleek, nice looking college kids–kicked back–very cool. Me–Nervous-Mom, slumped in the front row having a hot flash–not so cool. Anyway, I smiled at the kids on either side of me and settled in just as the lights dimmed.

Each skit was a riveting, politically motivated rendition to drive home a point. I was glued to my seat during the entire emotionally charged performance ... and then, once again, the lights dimmed. When they came on again, front and center stage, stood NAKED MAN. Okay, so I admit, Alee had tried to warn me, but nothing could have prepared me for this. There stood naked man, ( and I do mean NUDE) with slur words written in black marker all over his skin. I have to say that once I got over the shock, the performance in itself I found to be very profound and beautifully executed. And I tried not to stare at the penis, which wasn't easy to do with the lighting guy upstairs shining the spotlight on it the entire time. (Laughing yet? Me too!) Those crazy college kids...

Alee's performance was next. You could have heard a pin drop as she spoke of what it was like to grow up with HIV, and what it was like to finally come out to her friends about it. I heard someone behind me whisper, "This is a true story."

I have to say I was incredibly proud of my daughter, and moved by her honesty and brave performance.

At the very end of what proved to be an amazing night, there was a Q & A with the audience. There were a lot of questions for Alee about HIV, and how that works in a committed relationship. It was great to see young people so open and unembarrassed to talk about condoms, relationships and safe sex–much more so than when I'd been their age. We must be doing something right.

Now, about that good news I've been wanting to share; I'm pleased to announce that my novel, The Silence of Mercy Bleu, sold on just its second read to a wonderful publishing house, kNight Romance Publishers. It's been an amazing experience from start to finish and I can't wait to share this story. Watch for it in bookstores and online beginning March 5, 2012!

To learn more visit: SuzanStirling.com and you can also follow me on Twitter for the latest updates.

A Little Cotton Candy for the Soul

These last two nights I could have been the poster child for that common, yet rarely talked about affliction called "new author syndrome," an almost painful condition that affects most authors at one time or another in their career. The symptoms range in severity, but are always the same. You may recognize some of these symptoms in yourself: incessant checking of e-mails, stalking writer's sites like Publishers Marketplace and AbsoluteWrite, and for the worst of the worst–daydreaming away the hours while that mountain of laundry grows bigger than Mount Sinai in the corner.

I never really fully understood the agony nor the angst that my published author friends would try to explain. Only now, as a writer on the brink of getting published, do I finally get what they were saying. Now I understand just how easy it is for a writer to fall into the trap of obsessing over that "first" novel.

After all, you've carried this bundle of work with you for many long months, sometimes years and then, like an expectant mother about to give birth, finally comes the big moment you've been waiting for–your "Book" is about to be born! You push and strain until, finally, out pops your beloved little novel–all pink, wrinkled and ugly, but (you give a big sigh) all ten toes are seemingly intact. You then set about the arduous task of investing the long hard hours it will take to polish your little darling into something really, really great. And then, just when you dare hope it might sprout wings and fly, in walks the perfect publisher who sweeps your novel right off its feet! It's every mother's...errr, I mean writer's dream. And it's the way things ought to be. It should be easy, right? Don't get me wrong. It's every bit wonderful, but easy? Never.

Be it for love, a book deal, a waiting child–let's hope not a kidney–the waiting is never easy. But, we all must do it. My best advice? Try to stay busy, live in the moment and enjoy the journey, and should the waiting get tough–a little cotton candy for the soul never hurts!